My son is a completely different little boy on steroids…I’m sure most people are. While some kids I’ve heard, get hyper and out of control, he gets quiet and moody…and is always starving! It is amazing how quickly we can see the effects, two doses and Titus as we know him, is gone. It is always a test of patience for us and we have to remind ourselves that he is not himself, literally. His favorite food (unless it changes in the night) while on steroids is pizza. Pizza for breakfast…literally anytime he can get it. I say, if it makes him and his tummy happy, let him have it!
I was reminded by my mother the other day how trusting Titus is and the fact that his calmness about the doctor, about all of this, is because he trusts me, his dad, his doctor. I’ve always tried my best to explain everything to him (as much as a four year old understands) about what is going on, why he has to get chemo, why he has to take yucky medicine. It has become the only way he can cope. If I don’t explain but just try to push medicine in his mouth he cries and throws a fit, but if I remind him that “no, this is not the yucky medicine, and you have to take it so this OTHER medicine won’t make your tummy hurt” he sits back and takes it quietly and without a fight (sometimes there is some whimpering involved…).
Yesterday before leaving for chemotherapy, Titus was telling his sister that he doesn’t like going to his doctor, but that he was brave and went anyway. As his mom, it is my job to be brave, but I tend to fake bravery quite often. I believe that God has a plan, and that He has been working on that plan for quite awhile. Maybe it is to use Titus to reach others during this trial in our lives, maybe it is to strengthen our faith, maybe it is to strengthen the faith of others. Whatever the reason, I will continue to be brave for my son and help him along this journey of sickness and healing, because if HE can be brave, so can I!
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